A Surprise with a Smile

I am a speech-language pathologist.  I honestly fell into the career as I started out as an elementary education major in college.  I stumbled across a 3/2 program in speech-language pathology at Centenary that allowed me to get an undergraduate degree in Psychology, which I had always been interested in, and get a Masters degree in Communication Disorders all in five years as opposed to the normal six.  I liked that I would be done with school a year early...always looking for the short way out!  I think it's very interesting the turns that life's plans take...

While at Centenary, I met a charming young man named Adam.  He, also, was a psychology major and our friendship quickly turned into a relationship after a fateful ski trip with some friends.  I was very intrigued by him.  He had this awesome, genuine personality that I instantly loved and I remember thinking "I could never get mad at this man."  (That thinking has since changed a bit...I have gotten made at him once or twice in our time together!)  He also had these amazing blue eyes that you could get lost in.  I knew early on that this guy was a keeper.  Early on in our relationship, I learned that Adam was born with a cleft lip and palate.  His childhood/adolescence consisted of numerous surgeries to repair his soft and hard palate and his lip/nose area.  He also went to speech therapy and had an extensive run with braces.  I was fascinated with hearing about all that he endured because if you talk to the man for any length of time, you would have no idea he went through any of it.  It's pretty amazing.  I also took special interest in his cleft lip and palate because I was learning a lot about it in school and knew that I would work with similar kids at some point in my career.  Isn't it interesting the paths that life takes us on?

When Adam and I got married and decided to start a family, we knew that there was always a possibility that we could have a child with a cleft lip and/or palate.  We always said that if we did, then they'd be in the best household with a speech therapist as a mom and a dad that had one.  Through both of my pregnancies, it was always in the back of my mind but our doctor was always really good about looking for it during my ultrasounds and there was never any reason for concern.  There was an ultrasound with Evan that did raise some eyebrows in my second trimester.  My doctor often used a 4D ultrasound when she did them and we would get really great pictures of his face...he had some awesomely cute cheeks!  This one angle that we were looking at showed what looked like a cleft in his lip.  Because it was a side view, Dr. Shattuck decided to get a better shot of his face from the front, just to make sure that everything was ok.  Finally, after several awkward positions she made me lay in and Dr. Shattuck practically shoving my belly from side to side to move Mr. Evan to a good viewing position, we got a great frontal shot of his face...and everything appeared fine.  I left that appointment, called Adam to fill him in on the excitement, and went about my merry way not really thinking too much more about it.

When Evan was born, I couldn't wait to see what he looked like.  I thought that one of the fun parts about having two boys was being able to compare how they are similar and how they are different.  From the ultrasound pictures, we all thought that he'd look pretty similar to Thomas...chubby cheeks and all.  Plus I REALLY wanted him to have dark hair.  I love Thomas's blond hair and now I wanted one with dark hair (and maybe Adam's gorgeous blue eyes!).  So the moment that he was arriving, I was asking, "Does he have dark hair?"  I was told that he did, was so excited and braced myself to meet my newest love.  When they turned him towards me, I noticed that something about his lip didn't look quite right.  I immediately knew that it was a cleft lip.  I pointed it out to my doctor and she, too, confirmed that it was a cleft lip.  We immediately inspected his palate, to which we found that it was completely formed thank goodness.  He was taken to the newborn nursery and Adam and I were left to process this new bit of information.  I would be lying if I didn't say I was surprised and a little shocked.  It was something that we thought we had confirmed not to be an issue.  But now it was an issue and my mind immediately went to our next plan of action.  We would get in touch with Dr. Ghali, a very well-known surgeon that specializes in repairing cleft lip and palate.  He would need to have surgery, which would require some recovery and special care.  I knew we needed to watch how he ate pretty carefully.  I also knew that I would probably need to monitor his speech development and be on the lookout for ear infections.  My mind was spinning but oddly enough, not in a bad way.

Once the excitement of just having had a baby began to wear off, Adam and I both found ourselves strangely but wonderfully at peace.  Yes, we had just found out that we had a child with a cleft lip but it wasn't the traumatic experience I think we were both anticipating.  Evan is adorable and his little lip makes him who he is...very much like I remember thinking about Adam.  His cleft lip and palate helped him become the wonderful person that he is today and I fully expect Evan to grow up being proud of who he is...scars and all.  I go back to our initial thinking that a child born with a cleft lip in our family would fit in well with a speech therapist mom and a dad who's had very similar experiences.  Adam has mentioned recently that he's kind of excited about the relationship and bond that he and Evan will have with their similar experiences.  All in all, this was most definitely a surprise to us but it's one that will surely make us stronger and better.  We have been blessed with this miracle of a child, as Thomas was to us as well, and seeing him and his wonderful smile everyday is a constant gift.  Isn't it interesting the paths that life takes us on??  We're enjoying the ride!